shake hands with the devil

I have literally just started reading this book and could not get past the first 10 pages without weeping. I cannot even imagine the horror I am about to discover. I am embarrassed at my own lack of knowlege. It will be good for me read the book and confront the sin and my participation in it.

what makes a weekend good?

I think I had a good weekend. It was productive - not as productive as I would have liked...I always run out of tme - there is still a pile of laundry on the couch... we carved pumpkins.. Thomas hosted the " men's breakfast" Friday night, we watched parts 1 and 2 of the Decalogue - more on this another time - we made it to Liturgy... almost didn't - the Evil One was working overtime in our home this morning...I walked Luke to his sculpture class - supervised math homework, mapping, and art project...

I enjoy my weekends.. there is absolutely nothing greater than going to bed on Friday night knowing you don't have to get up early on Saturdays... I am more appreciative because I do have to work the odd Saturday... so I treasure the slow Saturday morning routines. I love hanging out in my house with my family - we cleaned the house to LOTR -Return of the King soundtrack.

I didn't read much.... I thought about what I will bake for the Open House at St. Herman's on December 3rd. I thought about delegating....

I didn't think about work - which is a Good Thing.

I am thankful for my family at St. Herman's- for the prayers that carry me through the Liturgy and through my week.

Pax Christi,

the beauty of textiles...

We were at Value Village tonight... and I drifted to the sari section - traditional Indian - ones made in the stunningly beautiful fabric. The colours were/ are spectacular - I love fabric - I own embarrassingly amounts of cloth... In fact when we moved to the new house we kept finding more and more bins. There is a temporary moratorium on the buying of cloth. But, my point was really to talk about the beauty of cloth. The colour and texture - how it feels against the body...that being said there is extremely uncomfortable cloth out there... I am thinking of the polyester doubleknit that I wore as a child....

A fellow blogger inspired me to pick up "The Scandal of the Incarnation" - an appropriate read before beginning the Advent Fast. As I told her, I am grateful for the push. H and L and were telling me we had no ice-cream ....we talked about the Fast coming up and the changing of diet... my children are amazing to me... they take in all in stride... soon no more meat, no more treats - like ice-cream. That is the beauty of growing up orthodox - this is just what we do...

I am looking forward to re-reading this book again. I had stopped any intellecually challenging, spiritually fortifying reading - too tired, out of habit - general sloth like behaviour. Work has been a bit of a challenge for me. Not just the work but working for a Corporation - and yes I meant the big "C". I have also read parts of Leithart's book "Against Christianity" which has challenged me. The one thing I have been reading is the Psalms which I mentioned early on. They are what sustain me. What amazes me as I read them is the "hey, I know this one..." and recognize it from the Liturgy. That is the absolutely best feeling... when I am reading it but saying it before I am reading the text. This is what I am thankful for - this is what is happening to my children Sunday after Sunday. The Word of God washes over their hearts regardless if their mind is attentive.

Another amazing thing I learned.. that H and L are actually walking away with something from Fr. L sermons. We are having more and more discussions about God and the nature of God, the holiness of space, being loved and loving and serving in response to being loved.

Enough.

those green things...

Yesterday, Saturday was a beautiful day. A gift of a day. The sky was entirely blue and the day warm; perfect weather to work in the garden. We have many, many - too many perennials... for us to look after. We are inviting friends and family to come and take what they will - and next spring we will simply our garden.

We spent hours trimming back all the flowers that had gone to seed; went to war on the morning glory... to which we prefer the British term "bindweed". We can now see the back cedar hedge. It was good work. My muscles ached with tiredness, there is something rather purifying about weeding. You can see the progress - you learn to recognize what is a weed and your first reaction is to yank it out; but a more effective approach is to find the root of the weed and spend your energy there... the result is not immediate but the effects are definitely longer lasting... there is a connection to sin but I am having a difficult time articulating this evening.

the struggle continues

a roller coaster ride for Thomas, my husband. First we hear that there might be a chance that the strike will end .... then bizarre circumstances and facilitator/ mediator says the sides are too far apart .... so any hope we had... is diminshed .... the challenge is to recognize that all of this is out of our control and that the Evil One takes a great amount of delight in causing us to worry about things we cannot control....the Evil One can present himself in all forms... we look to Jesus who will carry us through the storm... for all who know Thomas ... this is a huge struggle for him - what is the right and the righteous thing to do.... please pray for him

brave new world

I took my first loan application. Well - OK - I input the data on the system and we talked about negative networth, debt servicing rations, interest rates, credit bureaus, collateral and all that good stuff that we banking people deem important. Seriously it was a good day - instead of just theory we got to the meat and potatoes of lending...

speaking of lending and interest rates.... prime rate went up again. not a surprise ... and it sounds like it will keep going up - Bank of Canada set to meet in December again. how is that relevant you ask? well there are lots of people who have taken on alot of new debt over the last couple of years.. it soon will be crunch time...

do you notice how I have dispensed with capitals and punctuation.... for today... not sure how comfortable I am this new writing style!

today's psalm was 33 - did I mention that the psalms are critical to my well being - I love to read them on the bus...
this is from the Revised English text - not so crazy on the translation...

no king is saved by a great army,
no warrior delivered by great strength.
No one can rely on his horse to save him,
nor for all its power can it be a means of escape.

The Lord's eyes are turned towards those who fear him,
towards those whose hope is unfailing love
to deliver them from death,
and in famine to preserve them alive.

We have waited eagerly for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts are glad,
because we have trusted in his holy name.

Lord, let your unfailing love rest on us, as we have put our hope on you.

psalm 33: 16-22

I particularly love the bit that no one can rely on his horse to save him....

Apostle, Evangelist Luke Oct 18th

My son's name is Luke. He is an amazing gift from God. He radiates light. He loves completely. He sees clearly. He loves God. I am not worthy of such a son.

welcome

But as for me, my prayer is to thee, O Lord,
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of thy steadfast love answer me.

With thy faithful help rescue me from sinking in the mire;
let me be delivered from my enemies
and from the deep waters.

Let not the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the pit close its mouth over me.

Psalm 69 : 13-15