Wednesday, September 17, 2014

opa turns 80 - the photo shoot







My dad turned 80 on the 14th.  80 which means yes I am staring down the barrel at 50.  Crazy talk really.  I did not think I would live past the age of 36.  We three sisters headed home last weekend. Piled a ridiculous amount of luggage in the back of a borrowed Ford Flex and drove the 4.5 hours home to the Okanagan.  There was talk of how it was disappointing that our extended families were not with us.. our kids - our spouses - but to be perfectly frank - I was glad for the solo journey.  Less drama all around.

We made the requisite stop to fill up with cheaper gas and to indulge on something decidedly unhealthy for the trip home.  Made it in record time.  Crashed and awoke to full sun.  The weather could not have been better.  The pool was open and we just sat around all day reading our books and visiting.  At about 3pm I had everyone put on their requisite black shirt for some family photos.  My father indulged us as much as he could... and then we were off to celebrate with dinner.  Home to cake and us girls played a quick game of scrabble.

The next day we jumped in the pool for one last swim and headed back to the coast.  It was a very good weekend.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

catching up



These  flowers are all over my town.  They must thrive here - I have none in my garden - don't really need to because they are in everyone else's garden. 

After two weeks off - I am back to work at my day job this week.  I was a tad bit worried because I left Friday afternoon with several things not quite resolved.  I made a conscious decision to not look at my work email.  Someone else was in charge.  I let them be in charge.  I needed the break.  It was worth it.  I came back and while there were things that could have gone better - everyone survived.  Did I lose a sale? Yes.  Is it the end of the world?  No.  So that was a good experiment.  Do as much as you can, but then you have to just let go and trust someone else to look after your "stuff".  

Now I am back and in almost full swing to finish out August strongly.  

I have made a commitment to myself to join the 5am club.  I need to exercise regularly.  I have not been very consistent and I have not made adjustments to my eating habits and I have gained weight.  This is the first time in many, many years that I feel uncomfortable in my body.  So, getting up early.  Exercising.  Mindful eating ... these are all things that are happening now as I count down towards my 50th birthday.

We are watching Luther 






Monday, August 18, 2014

I grew up here





Made a quick trip to the Okanagan to visit the folks.  It was very, very quick but the weather was fabulous.  Top three photos are of Oliver my home town and the last photo is from Hillside Winery in Naramata.  

Thursday, August 07, 2014

On the dispensation of burdens and there are no accidental encounters


Yesterday we walked the seawall.  It was lovely.  The day was perfect.  We walked with some of our best friends in the whole wide world.  The day was perfect.  Did I mention that?  We talked and laughed and bemoaned our sore hips.  We took photos.  We drove home and drank beer and ate veggies.  We commiserated.  I am super motivated to get back into shape as the gauntlet has been dropped.  We should hike the West Coast Trail next summer.  Of the six of us - I am the one who needs to train the most.  

Prior to this whole discussion of hiking the trail, Mr. W and I had been walking on one of our favourite trails here in the valley and I was feeling a tad bit defeated.  Defeated by things out of my control.  Defeated by some lack of success at my job and finances and just an overall dark cloud.  Then as we rounded a corner I looked up and saw a woman hitting the trail - walking with a foot brace and a cane.  Clearly she had had a stroke.  I was astonished to see her on the trail in the middle of the day.  It was hot outside.  At least 36 degrees C.  We were on our second lap.  I took one look at her body and face and all I saw was sheer determination.  Her walking partner was a mere pace ahead of her and they were moving slowly.     I was absolutely floored by her resolution.  We circled round the trail and met them again about a third of the way through.  I figured they were going to take at least 3 times as long to do the lap as us.  I told them they were hardcore. She said I am not going to get better if I don't work at it.  That's all she said.  I am humbled by this woman's tenacity and her unwillingness to lay down and give up.  If she can motivate herself to forge ahead and climb such a mountain then, surely I can too.  I hope I see her again.  I hope I can remember the stark impact she made upon me and keep climbing my own mountains.  

This whole experience has led to several discussions on the dispensation of burdens.  We do not get to choose that with which we struggle. Often I feel I am at the end of my rope.  Intellectually I understand my faith teaches that I will not be given more than I can carry but, there are days - most days when I actively rail against such teaching and I argue with Master of the Universe.... "this is all I can handle... do not give me more... I am telling you .. I am done"  and yet, I don't get to choose when is enough.  And somehow I do rally.  Someone we do rally.  And forge along doing the best we can.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

sunset


It has been forever and a day since I have been over here.  What the heck am I doing with my days?
I am working my ass off.  Did I tell you my DSLR was stolen?  My own fault.  I left in my car overnight.  I popped out to my car to bring in a forgotten bag of stuff and my camera was tucked under the front seat.  I obviously forgot to lock the car once more.  The next morning I noticed the ashtray open (where we keep our change for parking) and the change was gone and my eyes quickly darted to the front seat and yup - camera gone.  Sheesh.  So many things stolen from our carport over the years.  It can all get to be a bit disheartening. But, with all the other things going on a stolen camera is the least of my concerns.

Work is crazy busy.  New clients - old clients. New  projects and deadlines.  New things to learn and share. I am working hard on new business venture.  I am in the middle of designing business cards.  My husband is on strike.  Have I shared that lovely detail?  I am taking holidays in August and I signed up for a writing challenge.  I am taking two weeks off.... that could possibly be a nightmare ..... so much work to do in preparation.  I am reading a novel.  It has taken me more than 2 weeks and it is officially overdue.  So that is also lame... but, I am almost finished it now... so will just keep it a few more days.

It has been hot.  Last two nights I slept in the tent.  First night it rained.  Second night - not enough blankets which surprises me because it was so hot... and I was too lazy to come back inside and get another blanket so did not sleep well.

We are learning how to live with almost adults... who have their own lives but we all cohabit together.  Finding the balance of obligation and duty.  Responsibility and love.  These are challenging days.  There is some worry about my son.  Leave it there.  He has been accepted into a metal fabrication program for January 2015 which is very good.  January is far, far away.  I wish he started in September.  My daughter will be back in school in the fall and will be leaving us again.  That will also take adjusting.  Fine tuning.  Actually life is all about the fine tuning.

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