on the perception of flexibility

So, the word came down today that my daughter perceives us to be too inflexible as parents. Her best friends think so too. "What exactly do you mean, give me an example," I say. She was thinking of asking to sleep over at a friend's house in the city. The friend had just spend the night at our house. The night before my daughter and the friend had spend the night at another friend's house... so my daughter whom I rarely see during the regular week because she goes to school and I go to work has been noticeably absent from the house over the holidays and I miss her. So, she is right I would have said no. And she sees that as inflexible.

But, I see myself as incredible flexible... to the point where I have flexed so much that I am stretched to the max. I do not take parenting decisions lightly. I agonize over what to do sometimes- heck most times! I want my children to be the best that they can be; I want to give them tools to achieve success. I want to give them skills to cope with failure. I do not think I am overly protective nor overly anxious as a parent. I have made decisions and changed my mind in lieu of discussions with others and let some things go - if it were only my decision I might be prone to say no or not yet more often, but I am willing to go with the wisdom of others.

So, to be told that I am seen as inflexible when I think I have made huge strides... comes as a complete shock. I know that she thinks I am embarrassing at times. I wear too many clothes... I am too bundled up. I wear a toque and scarf most days because I can't stand to be cold. But, these are typical things to suffer.

Do I care that her friends see me as inflexible? Not really. But, the recognition that my daughter see things completely differently comes as a surprise. Perhaps I was living on a cloud up till now?