Again, we talk - my daughter and I about freedom. What kind of freedom do you want? What do you want to do? She says I ask too many questions. How can there be too many questions?
Can I have a curfew in the summer? Out of the blue? Well, not out of the blue - prompted by discussion with friend on the phone. Sure, how about 8pm. "That is too early in the summer, it is still light out."
Then, I delve into the discussion that it is not how late she stays out that is our concern but rather where she is and who she is with and is she safe. Under NO circumstances is she going to have the FREEDOM to just go out and return home at a certain time without disclosing where she is or where she is going and with whom she is going. She is 12. She will be 13 in the summer.
"What if I don't know?"
Well, you have to let us know. That is just the way it is.
"How about an emergency cell phone?"
How about a quarter in your pocket? Where are you going to be that you can't find a phone and tell me where you are? (The discussion about cell phones for young people is for another time- does anyone have any thoughts they want to share)
"I want the freedom to go for a walk."
Go for it, I say.
Just say, I am going for a walk. I expect to be home in an hour or so... That is reasonable and responsible. If you say I am going for walk - I'll be home at suppertime... that is less reasonable and I will ask more questions. Because, that is what I do...
I ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS.
3 comments:
I think a cell phone is a good 13th birthday gift.
But, with a cell phone comes a lot of responsibility.
At my house, when a kid gets a cell phone they are responsible for calling in. If they don't want to hear from me (embarrassing in front of friends) they are obligated to call me every couple of hours. I want to know who they are with, where they are, if there is a parent around and what their plan is.
Curfew for 13 is 9 in the summer and 6 or 7 in the winter, depending on who they are with and where they are.
I have the power to shut down the cell phone account.
AND kids get rewards for calling me and telling me what they are up to - I might give them rides places, or money for a movie, or let them stay out an hour longer.
So far, so good.
Sorry, I took up a lot of space!
lol! funny.
parenting is not for cowards.
cell phones. hmmm. mine have been asking for them too.
on the one hand, I like the idea from a safety point of view, and yet I'm not crazy about another bill to pay.
and then the same question arises: why don't we just have set times and places and hence remove the need for a cell phone?
I don't like the idea of my kids just wandering the neighbourhood. I don't know why. I just don't.
but I don't want the to be sedentary slugs either.
in school we're talking about that gradual release of responsibility.
it's just so much harder as a parent, isn't it?
I've been thinking lately that I might have to call you when my kids make me go "Oh no. Now what?"
I think you're a great mom and I wish I could watch you at work still. I'm glad you post mom stuff now and then, though, so I can still learn from afar.
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