I am amazed at how quickly I can lose focus of the big picture. I set my mind to a task. I think we are moving forward. Then something happens or doesn't and I start thinking - that is my problem - I over think. I think about the ramifications of this action and that choice -
the double rainbow guy's voice "what does it mean?" resonates in my head. It quickly spirals out of control and I am thinking about how we are going to pay for university education and where we will live after we retire. We need to call a plumber as we have found a leak in our bathroom. Our car needs more work. Gah. It seems never ending. I lift up head and look up to see blue skies and sunshine. There are no guarantees in life. One day at a time. One task at a time. My family is healthy and we are all together under one roof. I have SO VERY MUCH to be thankful for. I force myself to refocus - change the lens with which I view.
How do you move forward - away from worry and the downward spiral.
4 comments:
I think getting older helps.
I seem to just be at peace with the it is what it is thing more and more.
And sometimes I have nightmares that leave me drained for days , wondering when the rug is going to be pulled out from my going along pretty good now life.
I just have to trust. I guess.
That doesn't help does it?
I internalize and deny.
your brand of worrying sounds like k.
much more immediate and surface. which, oddly enough, I think is more healthy. at least it's right in your face, and not just lurking and making you feel like something is wrong.. though you can't quite put your finger on it...
sigh.
I get worried sometimes, too. Like, everything will be going along fine and all of a sudden I get this deep, internal panic as if the world were falling apart. Then I catch it and remind myself, "Christ is Risen."
Christ is risen, so really, it's not so bad.
Christ is risen, and death is overthrown.
Christ is risen, so what seems like an overwhelmingly big deal is actually totally surmountable and fleeting. Christ is risen, so even if I ended up without a home, or having to ask a friend for some money to get me by, or couldn't eat chocolate for a month, or filed my taxes wrong, really the main thing is still taken care of: Christ is risen.
That said, I am totally not cool with the thought of losing my babies, or my husband, or other people I love. Death still scares me. Christ is risen, and death is overthrown, but I'd still rather not have my faith tested in that way. I'm still working on that one.
But still, even when thinking of death, it helps. Christ is Risen!
I'm a worrier but, somehow, in the last couple of years, I've been able to let go of it more.
I, too, remind myself to change the lens.
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