I am enjoying the quiet morning. I woke to more sunshine than I currently see now. I am feeling sad. I am sad because my vacation/ holiday will soon be over and I will be back at work next week. I am sad that I will be apart from my family. I loved being home during the day and being a part of their day lives. I don't want to give the impression that I do not like my job - I do and I am very fortunate to work with people I like. So, it is not that. I am sad to lose the freedom. And yet, when I think of others on this planet and what freedom means to them I chide myself for such pitiful thoughts. Because, truly I have freedom. I need to focus on being thankful for what I have and spend less time longing for something else.
I have a 14 year old daughter. She is a dancer. She is intense and hardcore. She is struggling. She needs to dance. Dancing is a way for her to process what is happening in her life. What we learned this summer is that 2 months with no structured daily dancing is not a good thing. It is too much of a break. She wept in my arms last night as she struggles to come to grips with ebb and flow of highschool relationships. My heart aches for her - I listen and gently remind her that she will make new friends and have new experiences and they will be good. I do not sugar coat life and tell her she will never be sad and never suffer loss. Because, that would be false. My own heart has been pierced and it is painful and you think you just want to go to sleep and not deal. But, the sun will rise and she can go forward and she is not alone.
None of us are alone on the journey.
4 comments:
Yeah. Things are hard. That we are not alone in it is a great consolation. I am struggling also with a lack of structure; I really need a job and will keep trying to get one...
I've been thinking about relationships a lot this week and I came across this quote which helped me a bit.
"The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." ~Bob Marley
I am lucky enough that I have a few people that are worth suffering for.
yes, my girl has had her share of hardship in the highschool friends category.
it is so unreal, and I wish I could explain to her that these relationships, though meaningful at the time, are so fleeting and ephemeral. I know of very few people who are still close with those they went to highschool with (I mean close, not simply still in contact).
I am glad and grateful that our girls have each other.
it's true, we are never alone.
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