Thursday, December 13, 2012

day 12 - #reverb12

What made you dance in 2012? What made you weep?

I have lived a bit of a roller coaster of an existence these last few months.  It seems it does not take much to get me weeping.  Stepping out onto the edge into the uncomfortable zone has left me vulnerable and easily jostled.  Take for instance yesterday when flickr announced an upgrade to their new iphone application.... normally upgrades are a piece of cake... but not this time...after the upgrade I was locked out... this is a problem because I always leave my flickr account open on my laptop and I was not 100% sure of my password let alone my user name.  I proceeded to try and access my password on my laptop account and was promptly kicked out and now I am completely locked out of flickr.... grh.... on top of this little delight....blogger has indicated I a have used up all my space for photos and I cannot just simply upload a photo ... I need to link it to flickr... which I can't do right now because I am locked out... you something like that just set me over the edge...and leads me into the spiral of why did I quit my job and make my life more challenging... why did I leave the comfortable place....why did I choose to go from a place of security to a place of risk...

Then there is the raising of teens.  That causes me to weep.  Almost every other day there is a thing that happens - an event - a challenge.  I feel completely inadequate as a parent.  I have not done enough... I did not do the right things...

Counter that with the upswing - the goodness - the delight in when I achieve small successes in my new position.  When I actually contemplate the courage it took to leave and step into the unknown.. because I think we truly come alive when we are living on the edge.  Comfortable is good but, it leads to lethargy... or it did in my experience. 

I am also humbled by the love and affection of others.  I do not live alone.  People care about me and they tell me.  I am extremely fortunate to have love in my life. 

I really need to get back into flickr.


elizabeth said...

for us who love photos, this would be very hard. have you used picasa by Google? links to blogger through their menu under 'create'... I have many pictures (not online just my computer) there and blog with this.

chin up; God is with you. Keep a candle lit; keep the icons; do not despair.

Denise | Chez Danisse said...

Thank goodness for the people who care about us. Someone made a very tired and crabby me dinner last night while I lounged in bed reading. I hope you are back into Flicker and dancing about.

Victoria said...

arg!! that is exACTly what happened to me (flickr crap) a couple weeks ago. exactly. blogger telling me I had run out of room, then bloody flickr locking me out of my account.
the next day it let me back on.
inexplicably. I hate flickr. but I feel tied to it now because of my millions and millions of photos there and now they're all linked to blogger because apparently I'm out of room. double frick.

good luck.

love you.

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