change

Hannah and Luke are snowboarding on Seymour.



I am mentally preparing for the AGM at St. Herman's.

I start a new job on Monday. I go from a position where I know my job very well. I am the person to GO TO if you need assistance. Soon, I will be the person who will be asking for a whole lot of assistance.

I am looking forward to learning new things. I am looking forward to less night shifts.

Jonah was wishing for a chocolate fountain... which got me to thinking about having a chocolate fountain for Paschal Vespers! What do you think? Would that not be cool?

brain attack

A brain attack, more commonly known as a stroke, occurs when a blood vessel carrying blood to the brain is blocked. This deprives part of the brain of oxygen, resulting in injured brain cells. Stroke is a medical emergency. Chances of surviving a stroke and enjoying a full recovery are better if medical help is sought right away. If any stroke symptoms are felt, call 911 or the medical emergency number immediately. Do not wait for the symptoms to pass. A brain attack is as much a medical emergency as a heart attack.

Why do I write of such a thing? Most people who know me know that my sister Dana, suffered a brain attack whilst delivering her son Samuel Joseph in July of 2000. It was probably one of the most horrific times of her/our/their life.

One of my coworkers, who just came back from maternity leave - her husband has just suffered a brain attack. He is 48. My sister was 32.

Who knows the mind of God?

I am stunned by this news. My heart breaks at the challenges they are facing. I am flooded by memories and emotions of a time that I would rather not remember.

silence

One of my absolutely favourite novels is The Chosen by Chaim Potok

It is a wonderful novel depicting the relationship between fathers and sons. It speaks of love. It speaks of silence.

Here is Reb Saunders speaking to Reuven:

"My father himself never talked to me, except when we studied together. He taught me with silence. He taught me to look into myself, to find my own strength, to walk around inside myself in company with my soul. . . . One learns of the pain of others by suffering one's own pain, he would say, by turning inside oneself, by finding one's own soul. And it is important to know of pain, he said. It destroys our self-pride, our arrogance, our indifference toward others. It makes us aware of how frail and tiny we are and of how much we must depend upon the Master of the Universe. . . .

"Reuven, I did not want my Daniel to become like my brother, may he rest in peace. Better I should have had no son at all than to have a brilliant son who had no soul. . . . And I had to make certain his soul would be the soul of a tzaddik no matter what he did with his life.

I crave silence.

today brings

Today is my day off from my employer. While I am not working for my company. I am still working. But, it is a different type of work. I am walking H and L to school; I have church accounting to take care of; some dinners to prepare for later in the week, laundry and buying food to feed the family. I will listen to good music. I will take time to pause and chat with the people God places in my path.

Peace to all

Henri Nouwen

"I believe you can look at solitude, community, and ministry as three disciplines by which we create space for God. If we create space in which God can act and speak, something surprising will happen. You and I are called to these disciplines if we want to be disciples."
--Henri J. M. Nouwen

I have been re-reading some HN. He, along with Thomas Merton were important guides along my journey. I love picking up these texts and reading them again. As I read, I am flooded with memories of relationships and experiences of my twenties. Good memories. Difficult times. But, all of it bringing me to this moment in time.

on being in the world and not of it...

I have been thinking about this quite a bit this weekend. On Friday someone at work asked me about the sin of "being a friend to the world". They were reading a book that mentioned a variety of sins... the sin of busyness... they got that one but they did not get how being a friend to the world was a sin?

Since I have no idea what context this bit of writing finds itself I was hardpressed to comment... but I did say that as christians we are taught that we should live in the world and not of it... but then I had to explain that... just how do we do this? How do we do it successfully? I think confession plays a huge role in accountability. To know when to walk away from something. To recognize when something else has taken the place of God in our lives...

This for me is a constant struggle, particularly since I work for a corporation. It weighs on me constantly....

We do not value the things the world values.... we are different than the world. Father L talks about living counter culturally - swimming upstream. I talk about this with my children constantly. They need to know the world will and does view them as oddballs. But, they are oddballs within the context of a community. I will do my children no favours if I mince words. Life will be hard and they will face challenges. I need to equip them with the knowlege that God will not give them a cross they cannot carry.

We have also been discussing free will in our house. Why does God allow us to choose between good and evil? Why do people leave the church? These are big topics but Glory to God I am discussing these ideas with my children. I grew up in a non religious/ christian household. God was not even part of my vocabulary or world view until I was 17. Amazing.

the art of procrastination

I am one of the best procrastinators I know. My middle sister Dana is very good as well. I have taken up knitting. It is a perfect enabler for the Procrastnator. I will put off tasks that need to be done until the bitter end and time is running out. Not all things.. but bedtime... I will sometimes put off the turning out the light to finish a chapter... work on my new knitting project... read other people's blogs... I will start a baking project to avoid cleaning the floor....

Evelyn Underhill

Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in you own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself and go on again.